


To Protect My Family

by Sheiburger



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure, Child Death, Domestic Violence, F/M, Family Drama, Vilkas is not the bad guyin this I swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-03-07 17:14:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13439469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheiburger/pseuds/Sheiburger
Summary: After awhile of wedded bliss, Vilkas is eager on adding children to his little family. His wife, Dovahkiin River, refuses.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A work I'm moving and updating from my FF site. Please feel free to leave comments!

"You know, love, you never did answer me."

River looked up from the book she was now engrossed in. Her husband sat next to her in the only other comfortable chair in her small Breezehome home. She gave him a confused look. He was talking crazy. Again. In the past week he hadn't asked a question that she hadn't given an answer to. Questions like, "Will you be home for dinner tonight, or am I eating and sleeping alone?" "Can you please not dump your armor by the door, love? It clutters the place." "Can you take my old axe up to Eorland? It's getting rusty." All mundane, married dialogue, although that last one had landed a playful smack to his arm. It had gotten repetitive, but with her excuses for putting off facing Delphine dwindling, she cherished and relished every moment.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean, dear." She said slowly looking about the house. Had she accidentally left something out-of-place?

Vilkas rose from his seat and came to a kneel before her. He stroked her bare calve lovingly. His touch sent a shiver down her spine. "Children, River. I want to have children with you."

Oh!  _That._  "No."

He drew back his hand and stood tall. Glaring down at her, much like when they had first met, he crossed his arms. He was clearly upset but River was Dragonborn, Nord, and a red-head. That potent combination made her three times more stubborn. She met his fierce grey eyes with her own calm blue. He eventually broke first, his hot-headedness getting the better of him.

"Why not? I love you, you love me. We have the room, the coin. Our beastblood is no more. Why are you opposed to this?"

_Flashes of hot fire in her face, the sound of a children's laughter turned to screams echoed in her head._ She stood abruptly, snapping her book shut, and bumping into him. She tried to turn from him but he seized her arm in a firm grip. "Vilkas, let. Go."

"Not until I'm satisfied with an answer, wife."

She whipped her head around in anger and, not realizing what she was doing, shouted, "FUS!"

He stumbled backward and relinquished his hold on her. She ran past him in his disoriented state and exited the house. Thankful she had purchased a home within sprinting distance of the city's exit, she ran, fear and flashbacks overwhelming her.

* * *

_The day was warm. River sat outside the small hut and ran a hand through the hair of the three-year old next to her. She had loudly protested being married at sixteen. Her father, deaf to her protests, had accepted the older suitors bid for her hand, and she found herself bound to a man who viewed her only as a baby making machine and cared very little for her prowess with the bow. However the vile old warrior gave her one good thing. The strawberry blonde toddler sitting next to her, winding purple mountain flowers together with a look of utmost concentration on her face. Fondly, River kissed the crown of her daughter's head._

_A horn trumpeted, signaling the return of the hunters. River made a face. Mila looked up at her excitedly. "Papa?" She asked._

_River nodded grimly, and the little one gave a squeal of delight. Not even a minute later her husband appeared. Mila ran to her father and he swooped her up in a bear hug, while at the same time tossing a bag of meat at River. "Make this edible," he grunted at her and sat down to play with and regale his hunting tales to his daughter._

_Gritting her teeth she made her way into the hut and over to the fire pit. She had just finished seasoning and spearing the meat on the spit when her husband lifted the flap back and entered. "We must speak."_

_"Then speak." She said shortly._

_The old warrior ran a hand through his hair. "You have yet to give me an heir."_

_"I gave you Mila!" She protested loudly, rounding on him. He scowled and crossed his arms._

_"A girl is hardly fitting of a warrior of my legacy. I need a boy."_

_River was furious. How dare he suggest that beautiful strawberry blonde girl wasn't good enough. Without uttering a word to the man River stormed out of the hut and gathered her daughter. She strode away into the small village and to her father's hut._

_"Mama, where are we going?"_

* * *

It was dark before she realized she was at her small plot of land just outside of Falkreath. Her haze lifting she sat down on a boulder, shivering. That flashback had been powerful, disturbing. She hadn't thought of her life before Helgen since right before her marriage, and even then she had thought she had made peace with it. "Apparently not." She breathed.

"My thane?" A voice called out and River looked up to see Lydia rushing over to her. "Is everything alright?" Tears filled River's eyes at the question.

"No, Lydia, I don't think I am." She mumbled and turned away from her long time friend and companion.

* * *

Vilkas tossed back another tankard of mead. He was sitting on one of the benches at Jorvasker, watching as he brothers and sisters in arms sang and drank and fought. The image of River, her red hair flying around from her shoulders as she danced merrily to some song only she seemed to hear, filled his mind. The thought filled him with a fondness that was soon replaced by anger. He could forgive her the Thu'um, she was Dovahkiin after all, but why did she not want to have a child? Did she not love him as much as she claimed? And then she had run from him. He sighed.

"What's wrong, Brother?" Farkas came to rest beside him. "You've been scowling all night."

Vilkas thought a moment. "It's my wife." He finally admitted.

"Is she having an affair?"

Vilkas balked at the thought. What if she was? Was that why she didn't want a child? To keep her body shape to please another lover? "I don't know." Vilkas finally said. "She doesn't want children."

His twin was silent a few moments, thinking. Farkas looked up eventually and swallowed some of his own mead. "Perhaps she has had a child before coming to us."

Vilkas frowned. "But that would mean she's another man's wife."

Farkas shrugged. "I do not know, Brother. But I do know River loves you. She told me so." Seeming very confident in his own words Farkas stood and wandered off to speak with the others, leaving Vilkas to stew and glare into his own cup.


	2. Chapter 2

River stayed on her plot of land for three days. She worked hard on building the small one room cabin into a bigger home for both her steward and housecarl. She had managed to add a main hall and had Lydia order furnishings for it. She sat cross legged on the double bed in what now could be called the foyer. Wiping the grime from her brow she sighed. Lydia made a disgusted noise and River looked at her pleasantly.

"That's where we sleep when you aren't here, you know." The 'we' Lydia had been referring to was herself and another housecarl by the name of Rayya. Rayya hadn't been around River as long as Lydia had been, but River trusted the older woman. Unfortunately, Rayya's inexperience with River often brought Rayya and Lydia to blows.

"You can't speak to the thane that way!" The dark skinned woman protested from her spot in a chair by the fire pit. River waved her hand in dismissal.

"It's fine Rayya." She said idly, but then smirked. "Although I had no  _idea_  you and Lydia were like  _that._ "

Lydia glared at her while Rayya flushed and flailed. Both started adamantly denying what River had proposed and River just laughed, enjoying the uncomfortable position she had put her housecarl and steward in. In the past three days after her fight with and flee from Vilkas, this easy comradierie she had with the two women was both refreshing and comforting. They had not pushed her on her reasons for suddenly appearing, they had not argued with her on not having a traditional family. River found herself relaxing as they had worked on the house by day and told stories and drank mead by night. It was like when she had started out with the Companions of Jorvaskr all over again.

* * *

_The mead hall was especially cheery tonight. Another shard of Wuuthrad had been located and successfully acquired. The companions sang gaily and were swapping stories of older battles; some of them only partially made up, others very obviously exaggerated. River was sure the bear Ria had killed wasn't 'as large as the Jarl's keep' and 'as nasty as a dragon.' For one thing the Keep was huuge and River doubted very much her shield-sister had met a dragon. Nothing was nastier than a pissed off dragon._

_Dragons..._

_"You look upset." River looked up from rubbing her arm. Farkas loomed over her, two mugs of frothing mead in his hands._

_Ignoring his observation she reached for one. "One of those are for me right?" She asked, grinning cheekily._

_He smiled slowly and stepped back, just out of reach. "Not until you tell me what you were frowning about."_

_"Memories." She said evasively and snatched at one of the mugs clutched in one of Faraks' massive fists. He just easily stepped aside laughing._

_"Not enough Sister."_

_"Yet sadly," She spun quick enough to surprise him and managed to snag one of the mugs, "it's the truth." And with that she took a sip of mead and smiled. Astonished, Farkas gaped at her before bursting out in laughter._

_"You are certainly a worthy Sheild-sister."_

_Grinning she took another swig and cast a glance to where she just knew Vilkas was watching. She smacked her lips and blew a kiss. He glared at her, obviously disgusted and angered, before turning to Kodlak and engaging the old man in conversation. River laughed happily and Farkas lead her to the center of the room._

_"Let's hear it for our new Sheild sister! May her bow never falter and her sword arm never break!"_

_The chorus of 'hear hear!' brought a smile to her lips._

* * *

"And anyway, River, even if I was so inclined the last I'd look for is an old Redgaurd."

River snapped her head up in time to see Rayya effectively knock Lydia off her stool. "Who's old, milk drinker?" Rayya growled. River smiled as the two started bickering anew. Maybe things would be ok after all.

* * *

Vilkas stayed in the mead hall for three days. He didn't want to sleep in the same home as his wife when she wasn't there. Or if she was he didn't want to see her until his blood had cooled. He had even developed a regimine. Get up, post available work, test whatever milk drinker thought themselves worthy of the companions, contemplate sending his wife a letter, crumbling the paper, then spend the day getting drunk enough to where his heart didn't hurt so badly. None one had questioned him on it except Aela.

"You're acting like a child."

He glanced up at her and frowned. Aela's hair was as red as his wife's. Aela was a master with the bow, as was his wife. He stared hard at the woman and found she was glaring equally back. He huffed and stared back into his mug. Aela had none of his wife's softness; none of River's easy smile or stern yet loving concern. All the qualities he was sure would make her a good mother.

"Go away."

"Not until you go after her. If it were me-"

"It isn't you. Now go away."

Aela was about to respond but the doors to the mead hall crashed open. An old man, grizzled and greying, stood before them. His one good eye scanned the hall, double taking on Aela. Apparently not finding what he was searching for, he gnashed his teeth.

"Where is she?"

Torvar got up and stumbled over to the man. "Listen, we don't-" The old man struck him and he fell.

"I'll ask one more time." The old man grabbed his great sword. "Where is River?"


	3. Chapter 3

Vilkas could swear the hall went silent. For a moment the usually noisy mead hall had no sound. All at once there was a great clang of metal as weapons were drawn. Vilkas stepped forward, blood heating even further at the sight of this man who'd dare to threaten his wife,  _his mate._  The old man glared back at them all, hardly batting an eye as he evaluated first Vilkas' shield siblings, then Vilkas himself. The fact that the old warrior leaned back, relaxed his guard, and smirked- actually smirked- spoke volumes of what he thought of Vilkas.

Gritting his teeth Vilkas held his ebony greatsword River had given him. He brandished it at the older male, the threat clear and he felt the rest of Jorvaskr fall into place behind him. "Who are you?" He demanded.

The old man didn't even bat an eye. In fact after his initial dramatic entrance, he seemed almost bored. "It is clear you would protect your Harbinger." He commented idly, his voice harsh. "Fear not, I merely wish to speak with her."

"You didn't answer the question."

The old man's good eye swiveled and focused on Vilkas. He grunted, clearly unimpressed. "And who are you to demand that information from me, boy?"

Vilkas tightened his hold on his weapon, failing miserably at keeping his anger from rising. "I am acting second in command for the Harbinger and River's husband." He bit out and was proud of himself for not threatening the man outright.

The other's eyebrows rose and his eye widened. "Her husband?" He asked, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. "She remarried?"

"Remarried?" Vilkas felt himself lower his sword, the righteous anger in his gut turning back into insecurity making it clench and his blood run cold. "What do you mean?"

"Where is she?"

"I don't kn-"

"Her property in Falkreath." Aela answered for him. "I went out hunting the other day and smelled her there on the wind."

Vilkas sheathed his weapon and everyone followed suit. "Take us there."

* * *

River sat cross legged on her front step watching the birds fly over head. The movers had arrived with her furniture and she was staying out of the way. She had been working in the gardens earlier and the smell of the earth, damp and musty and familiar, clung to her fingertips. She smiled and leaned back as the sun warmed her face. She could hear the clang of metal on metal and vaguely wondered what Lydia was crafting this time. Or was it Rayya this time? She wasn't sure.

"What are you making?" She called out idly, her eyes slipping closed.

"Just sharpening my sword, my thane." It was Rayya then. "Am I disturbing you ma'am?"

"No. Just thinking."

She felt Lydia plop down next to her. Hearing the crunch of an apple, River grinned and automatically held her hand out. Something smooth was pressed into her hand and she cracked an eye open to inspect the green apple Lydia had given her. Finding no faults with it she took a bite.

"What has got you so lost in thought?" Lydia asked nudging her with her elbow.

"I miss my family." River admitted.

"Your husband?" Rayya had come to sit on River's other side. River frowned. Did she mean her husband? It was true she loved Vilkas dearly, he had that annoying ability to make her heart pound like a green maiden, but no. She missed...

* * *

_The sound of the pounding drums and twittering flutes filled the air. The enormous bon fire crackled mirthfully as her clan danced and laughed and ate around it. River smiled lovingly as Mila chased another child around with sticks. Her daughter enjoyed the harvest festival almost as much as River did. River laughed as a dancer stumbled in drunken stupor. Frowned as she caught sight of her scarred husband as he roared with laughter as his hunting buddies told exaggerated tales. Her scowl deepened as she watched him slap a young maiden on the rump. The man was shameless._

_"What has you so upset tonight, my daughter?" River turned around to see her father. She smiled at his grizzled appearance. Her father was the greatest warrior and the chieftain of their clan. "Tonight is supposed to be a joyous occasion."_

_River ran to hug the old warrior. "Papa!" She murmured nuzzling him. "You are back from meeting the Jarl!"_

_He chuckled and patted her head. River was a tall woman to begin with, but her father was easily taller by a head. Chuckling he said, "Nothing could keep me away from my family tonight. I'm just sorry I wasn't here sooner."_

_She smiled up into his eye. "You are here, that is enough."_

_"Where is my granddaughter?" River pointed her out. Mila was currently listening to her father tell stories with a group of boys. Rivers father guided to her to his side. "Come, let us visit your mother."_

_Taking her father's arm, they walked away from the bonfire and past huts gathered here and there. The farther they walked from the celebration the more quiet and still the night became. River enjoyed these precious moments with her father. They were far and few in between and she treasured everyone, knowing, with her father's age and the battles and hunts he insisted on leading his men into, they could be his last. She observed the old man out of the corner of her eye. His hair was thinning an patchy. His face was battle scarred and lined with age. His arms were thick and corded with muscle. His left eye was missing. She loved him anyway._

_They came to a grassy clearing with a single headstone. Her mother's name was inscribed there. River knelt before it and her father followed suit. "Spanna," was all her father said and they lapsed into an easy silence. The wind, calm and sweet smelling, brushed the hair from her shoulders and silently she sent her thoughts to her mother and asked the gods for her protection in the afterlife. Wordlessly, she knew her father was doing the same. She stared at the starry sky and before she knew she was doing it, she was begging Akatosh - whom she believed her patron god- for true happiness._

_Loud screams echoed from the village and an eerie cry echoed. River and her father leaped to their feet and started sprinting. They reached the outskirts and froze. Their clansmen were scurrying about, women scooping up their children and trying to flee burning huts and hunters aiming their bows into the sky. Another roar made River look up into the sky. Her blood ran cold. An enormous black dragon hung there, its dark wings unfurled and beating at the sky effortlessly. As it snarled down at them and fear crept into her bones, River's father grabbed her arm tightly. She looked to him._

_His stern warrior face gave her comfort. "River, now isn't the time to be afraid. Find Mila. Run, hide!" The dragon swooped overhead. "Do this for me River, keep safe." And then he was off into the battle, roaring his own cries._

_River turned and ran through the village searching for her daughter. "Mama!" River turned and nearly cried in relief. Mila was running up to her about a yard away. She was about to start running toward her daughter when an enormous black talon curled itself around her daughter. Her daughter screamed and River suddenly wished very much she had her bow. But she didn't. She had to watch as the dragon hoisted Mila high into the night sky and fling her down, like a doll. River couldn't hear the crack, but she felt it._

_Someone was screaming close to her ear. It took her a moment to realize it was her. Everything stilled for a moment and then she was running toward the limp corpse of her daughter. Glassy eyes looked up at her, still frozen in shock and fear. Shaking she lowered the eyelids of her daughter, as the dragon roared overhead. Kissing Mila's forehead one final time, she rose and fled into the trees._

* * *

"Hey!" Fingers snapped in River's face and she blinked. Lydia was looking at her with some degree of concern. "Are you ok? You were gone for a moment there and then you started crying."

Wet tracks were making their way down her cheeks and she swiped at them. "Just a sad memory." She mumbled and turned away.


	4. Chapter 4

It was unclear to River what had startled her awake. All she knew was that she had sat bolt upright in the small bed and was straining to hear any sounds. Then the screech echoed even through the walls. She gnashed her teeth even as she flung the blankets from her body. The night dress she was wearing did little for her in terms of armor, but she didn't have the time to go searching. Snatching Dragon bane and her Ebony bow from their place of honor next to her bedside she ran out the front of the quickly growing manor.

Sure enough, bearing down on her land was an enormous elder dragon. Raya and Lydia were already outside sending arrows into the belly of the beast as it circled above them. It wasn't enough.

"JOOR ZAH FRUL!" The words erupted from her mouth, eased with practice and frequency of their use. The mighty beast caught it full on and, though it struggled, was made to land. River was ready and on it instantly. Dragonrend was a temporary shout. Her time was limited and if she didn't finish the worm now, then it'd soar up and possibly away. She wouldn't let that happen.

She couldn't.

_Glassy eyes stared up at her, still frozen in shock and fear._

No. Nononononononononono. Red clouded her vision. Her arm was hacking away at something and she could feel more resistance. She registered a dull clanging noise as well.

_She couldn't hear the snap, but she felt it._

"My thane?" The hesitant question sounded so very far off.

_Screams echoed from the village..._

She felt something warm envelop her. Her stabbing persisted, tears welling in her eyes.

_Fire, burning huts, despairing cries. "Mama! Mama! Mama!"_

"Mila!" Someone was screaming. Someone was screaming very close to her ear. Someone had her wrist. She struggled. Someone had wrenched Dragonbane from her fist. The weight of her bow was gone as well. The red mist prickling her vision ebbed. A pearly whits skull of a dragon winked at her, chipped in places where her blade had insistantly hacked away at it. Lydia was restraining her. Rayya was holding Dragonbane limply in one hand, her mouth slightly agape and her eyes riddled with concern. The srceaming, who was screaming. It took a moment for River to realize she was screaming.

She stopped, the haze fading from her mind. She went limp in Lydia's arms and her housecarl-turned-steward realeased her. She flopped uselessly to the ground, panting heavily while the two women hovered over her. Rayya offered her weapons to her. She took them, cradling them carefully to her chest. She didn't look at either of them as she tied Dragonbane in place at her hip. Her bow she continued to hold. She could feel the frightened gaze of her companions at her back. Slowly she rose.

"I...shall be in the cellar. Training. No distractions." River walked away.

* * *

Vilkas stared at the griseld old man. He was loud and unruly, but never once said a vulgar thing about Aela, like he thought the old man would. Instead he complimented her archery and boasted about his daughters skills. He spun tales as they walked, sang bard songs and boasted his strength and battles. Farkas and Aela warmed to him as they walked, joining him in his songs as they walked. He would have made a fine member of the companions.

As for Vilkas, well, what could one say when one had shoved a sword in his father in laws face?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance for this chapter being so dialog heavy.

 Their small group of travelers had started their trek sometime in the night. While the journey was only a few hours, River's father, Erik, was elderly. He'd been searching all over Skyrim, chasing the stories about his daughter. They made camp about two miles outside of Riverwood. They were  ridiculously  close now. The knowledge that he was so close made Vilkas all the more eager to get to his wife.

 Farkas had volunteered to gather more firewood and Aela thought she smelled an elk nearby and went off to hunt  . That left him setting up bedrolls  awkwardly  with his father in law. Erik, for his part, seemed  perfectly  content to continue the set-up at camp. Vilkas took a seat on a nearby rock and began to sharpen his great-sword. Erik took a seat across from him,  idly  thumbing his bow. A silence stretched between them and Vilkas had to force himself not to stare.

"So, boy," Erik was the first to break the silence. "You married my little girl."

 "Aye." Vilkas finally looked up, wary.

 A grin spread across the older man's face. "And you didn't even ask her father? I find that a terrible insult."

 Vilkas flushed. "She never- I didn't- It was- She was-"

The old man burst out laughing, a booming, jolly sound. Vilkas got the feeling that in another life it was a sound used often. That didn't help the embarrassment from creeping up his neck.  Eventually  the laughter died down, although the mirth in Erik's eyes remained.

"Calm yer-self boy, it was a jest." Erik said, wiping away a stray tear of laughter. "Knowing my girl the way I do, she  probably  said nothing and popped the question first, eh?" When Vilkas said nothing Erik continued, this time with more of a somber edge. "She always was good at hiding her feelings and thoughts. Didn't speak for at least four months after her mother died."

Vilkas didn't know how to respond. He'd noticed that as well.  After Skjor had died River and Aela had started their own private campaign, but River had withdrawn farther than Aela, no longer smiling or dancing with the others . Then Kodlak's death occurred and it took the curing of the beast-blood for River to even come out of her room. It took their wedding for River to even begin dancing again.

 Just  as he opened his mouth a roar that was becoming far too common, sounded overhead.  Vilkas grip on his great-sword tightened and he looked up,  just  in time to see a grey scaled dragon soaring two miles ahead of their location  . Erik's armor banged  slightly  as he got up. Farkas and Aela burst back into camp, both breathing heavy from the run.

"Vilkas! That's--"

But Aela didn't have to finish. The beast gave a mighty shout and  was answered by  an even greater one that brought it down and out of the sky. Vilkas felt a tug on his heart.

"River!"

He was running toward the area where the dragon landed, his weapon drawn. Loud crashing behind him signaled the others following him. Vilkas tried to swallow the worried lump in his throat as he ran, but it only migrated to his chest. He knew that River was  fully  capable of taking on a dragon alone, but it was always the thought of 'what if?' that  consistently  plagued him.

They passed a small outcrop of rock, darted up a small hill, passed a small apiary, around the front of a rather well constructed building and came face to face with.... A skeleton of a dragon. And two very disgruntled looking women. Vilkas recognized one of them and she in turn raised a hand to greet them.

"Hail Companions." Lydia nodded in respect as she walked forward. Vilkas sheathed his sword and hear the rest following suit. Lydia's eyes passed over each of them, sticking on Erik. "This face I don't recognize."

"Lydia." Vilkas clapped the woman once on her shoulder. "This is Erik. River's father."

The woman, for her credit, didn't so much as flinch. "I suppose that is why she introduced herself as River Eriksdotter when we first met."

The old man gave another hearty laugh. "Did she? Oh the little brat." Erik stepped forward with his arms outstretched, clasping the woman's hand in greeting. "And what is it you do here with my daughter, Lydia?"

"I used to be her housecarl in Whiterun. Now I am her steward here in Falkreath. Rayya," here Lydia turned to  indicate  the darker woman, "is her housecarl here."

"My gangly, skinned knees, freckle faced, little girl holds so many titles?" There was awe and pride and a little bit of sadness in Erik's voice. "My little spitfire?"

"Yes, sir. And I'm sure there's a great many more she's not telling us about."

"I'm sure, the brat. Where is she?"

"Training in the cellar at the back of the house. But she said she didn't want to  be distracted !" But Lydia's words met the doors as Erik had started moving the moment she gave the direction. Lydia looked to Vilkas. He and the other's could only shrug.

* * *

 

Step, swing, step, twirl, step, swing. One, two, three, four, five, six. Repeat. Methodical. Don't think about it. Don't think about anything.  Just  do. Get it done. There are no dragons. Your family is still alive. No one  is injured . You are not the sole hope for this world. You are not alone. Step, swing, step, creak. Wait what? River turned, ready with her fury, only to drop Dragonbane with a clatter.

"Did you learn nothing, my daughter?"

River didn't reply, not trusting her voice took one cautious step forward, then another. Finally she threw caution to the wind and raced into the open arms of the grisled old man. She hugged him  fiercely  as tears streamed down her face. Arms  just  as strong as she remembered hugged her  just  as tight. And it was real. She wasn't hallucinating this time.

"Papa. _Oh papa_."

"You're going to dampen my beard, brat."

"Uh-huh."

"Got any good stories to tell?"

River stepped back as far as his arms would allow. She gave him a watery smile. "Lots."


	6. Chapter 6

Thick corded muscle wielded the sword with as much ease as when she was young, watching him mock fight during the harvest festival  . This time,  however , River was on the receiving end of the blow. Or would be if she hadn't memorized the old warrior's movements. He lunged, she twirled. He thrust, she parried. Metal clanged on metal. It was an old dance and she took great pride in the joy and pride her father reflected.

"So, Brat," he said as he went to maneuver his way around a practice dummy, "those are some tales you spin.  You  are destined  to save Skyrim from the dragons because of your thuum and yet here you stand gathering titles and building a homestead ?"

"Yes papa." She grunted, dancing out of reach of his next blow. He was wearing down, likely due to age, but River wasn't so stupid that she believed the battle won. "I am supposed to meet with a woman named Delphine in Riverwood to debrief and continue on."

"Yet you are here."

Another lunge, another dodge, the old man was breathing heavy now. River was seconds from victory. "Yes."

"Why?"

Her steps faltered and she took a hard blow on her shoulder.  Her father, ever the strategist and an opportunist, took advantage to strike her wrist with the flat of the sword . She dropped hers. He pressed in.

"Why?" He repeated as he leveled his sword at her. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, but it didn't stop her from retreating back a step when he advanced. Her hand went to her belt, but couldn't find her knife. She felt cornered trapped by both the question and the enemy. "Why?" And she was no longer in her cellar with her father. She was in a cavern filled with bandits after she had gotten free of her execution.

She was weaponless, terrified, and forced into a small space. She hated this feeling.Hated feeling small and vulnerable. Something bubbled up in her throat. It was hot and tasted of electricity. It burned past her lips.

_"FUS!"_

With a loud clang and a grunt, she  was brought  back to reality. She blinked her eyes in rapid succession. Her father had been flung across the room, into the small shrine she had been building. For his part the old warrior didn't seem to hurt, or even mad. He was straightening even as apologies flew to her lips. He waved her away.

"I'm fine, my daughter. I'm fine. Damn, though, girl, if that ain't a damn fine power." Despite having  been tossed  into a shrine, there was a note of pride. "Although, I have to wonder. Did you  really  think I was going to hurt you?" A small amount of hurt ebbed into his voice.

River looked down to her hands, clasped in front of her like she was a child again, begging for forgiveness. "No, papa." She said in a quiet voice.

A heavy hand  gently  rested on her shoulder. "So tell me why, my treasure. Please. You are safe here. This is the castle you have built for yourself, with fierce warriors to protect you. You don't need to fear any man."

"That's  just  it papa!" She blurted out, jerking away from that kind and familiar touch. "I do fear. I'm always so scared! When I thought you dead because of Alduin, I  was terrified  because I was alone! Something had taken people I cared for! I was alone! I  was terrified  !  And then Imperial guards captured me, not  really  accusing me of a crime but condemning me to the headman's ax anyway  !" Tears were running down her face. "Then Alduin attacked again! And I was alone- again! And after that no matter where I went the moment I got close to anybody, someone close to me perished!  Everyday I worry that someone will come for my husband or my friends or my shield-brothers and sisters  !"  She was being pulled into her father's arms again, his hand patting her back  soothingly  , but she struggled and continued to sob . "I failed the village, failed you, failed my baby--I... I can't... I don't deserve..."

Her struggling proved futile, her father was still much stronger  physically  . Instead of continuing to fight she let herself  be held  , crying into her father's chest. He patted her back and let her cry, and she felt like a child again. It was a safe and secure feeling. So she let herself cry. She cried for all the friends she had lost; friends in every faction, her old village, her daughter. Her sobs lapsed into hiccuping  eventually  and she felt a little better. Her father gave a gentle chuckle.

"My, my. What a brat I have raised." He pressed a kiss to her hair before releasing her  just  enough to look her in the eye.  "To have such a strong daughter who has accomplished so much, who is about to do even more, think that she has failed me- failed Mila  ." River made a distressed sound, but Erik was shaking his head. "My dear, you'll only have failed Mila by not going out and slaying her killer." He tilted his head. "Not to mention, my dear, you have remarried a fine man, who  is worried  for you." He cupped her face. "If nothing else, take the word of a foolish old warrior. Speak with your husband. Be open and honest with him. He only wants to help."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Erik chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Let him then. He's a Companion is he not? Then he knows how to fight. He loves you. Now, go, speak with your family. This old man is going to find a bed to nap in."

Another kiss to her forehead and Erik departed back up the ladder. River considered his words, wrung her hands together, then followed suit. 

* * *

 

Vilkas' head snapped up when moments after Erik turned the corner and went up the stairs, River appeared .

"Love!" He started, rising, but she shook her head and motioned for him to sit.

"Vilkas, my family... I have something I need to say."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your support!

River relayed her story to her ragtag family. She told them everything, held nothing back. She spoke of her village; of her late husband, and her dearly departed daughter. She spoke of Alduin; how he destroyed her home and drove her to be arrested by the Imperial Army, only to indirectly free her from them. She spoke of Delphine and the Blades. Of her time learning with Paarthurnax and her reluctance to kill the old dragon. She spoke of the Peace Summit and her worry that once her quest was over the civil war would once again turn bloody.

River stumbled over her words only once when she spoke of how she worried for them. In fact, not only did her voice crack, her whole body started to tremble. She looked away from them trying to breathe. She never had been any good at talking about her feelings; always feeling vulnerable and weak. She'd been surprised to hear the scrape of a chair and feel strong arms hold her close. Vilkas' scent invaded her nostrils. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.

"My love, " he murmured, "you've been through so much. Taken on so much." He pressed a kiss to her hair. She clutched at him as the tears fell. "You never need to worry about us thinking you weak."

"That's right, Harbinger." Aela piped up. "You've proven time and time again to be a fantastic and competant leader. All of the Companions would gladly lay down their lives for you, but we also realize that you're human."

"That's right, Sister." Added Farkas. "You're allowed to grieve."

"Please, love," Vilkas tilted her chin to look into her eyes. "Lean on us everyone in awhile."

"I am your sword and your shield." Rayya vowed.

"And I am sworn to carry your burdens." Lydia teased warmly.

The tears ran freely from her eyes and she clutched Vilkas close. How she loved her rag tag family.

* * *

 

"Right, so avoiding the Blades seem like a good idea. You know. For now." After an embarassing twenty minutes of crying, River was now leading a strategy meeting consisting of her innermost circle. Her husband sat on her right, one hand under the table, gently, almost idly, stroking her thigh. Beside him sat Farkas, sipping mead from one of the mugs she managed to dig up. Aela stood at the foot of the table, frowning at the map they'd sprawled out. Across from River sat Lydia and Rayya. Like the huntress, both women were frowning, contemplating a move. A quick glance above confirmed that Erik hadn't gone to sleep and was instead watching intently.

River sighed. "Either way, I have to summon Odahving. And unfortunately for Whiterun, Dragonskeep is the best place to layout a trap."

Lydia snorted. "Dragonskeep. Where we shall keep a dragon."

Rayya frowned. "The city guard could help wrangle the dragon."

Aela shook her head. "No, that would leave the city open to attack. Either by bandits, or if the beast turns its sight on the unguarded people."

"Well the five of us aren't going to be able to subdue it!"

"We've all seen River take on dragons easily by herself." Farkas chimed in, helping himself to another mug of mead.

Vilkas' squeezed River's upper thigh gently. "Aye, but that won't work for our needs. Normally she goes for the kill. Our goal is to capture, not kill. That requires a different set of skills."

River frowned. She didn't like what her husband was implying, but he was right. One person alone wasn't able to subdue a dragon. Kill it, sure. She killed dragons on a daily basis. She glanced at her father, still watching them intently. 

"A village stands together." She murmured, an idea forming in her head.

"Maybe but we can't ask the citizens of Whiterun to go up against a dragon." Aela shook her head.

"That's not what I mean." River looked around at her companions. "We have the city guards to what they do best, guard the city. Meanwhile, I want us, plus The Companions at the keep."

Vilkas' eyes gleamed, catching on. "The Companions have the strength and skill combined to land a dragon and keep it there long enough to chain it."

"Plus think of the drinking stories!" Farkas agreed.

Aela hummed. "That has the potential to work," she agreed. 

Lydia leaned forward. "So this is the plan we're taking?"

River smiled. "Yes. Let's get some rest, everyone. We're head out for Whiterun in the morning." A chorus of assents and everyone dispersed, trying to find somewhere to sleep comfortably for the night. River glanced up at her father, who smiled down at her and nodded approvingly.

Vilkas caught her by the hand and nodded toward the entrance of the manor. River took the hint and let him lead her outside. Now that the dragon was gone, the night was still. Frogs croaked from the lake and fireflies blinked in and out. Stars illuminated the sky above as a cool breeze whispered across their faces. Vilkas lead them to the apiary just behind the hall. He dropped her hand and stood there, staring out over the lake.

River hesitated. "It's beautiful isn't it?" She said indicating the lake.

Vilkas hummed in agreement. "Aye, but not nearly as beautiful as you. Love, I wish you' have told me about your past."

River tensed. Was this where Vilkas switched from supporting to domineering? "I told you-"

"If I had known, I wouldn't have pushed so hard." He stepped forward and cupped her face. River felt her face burn. "I'm so sorry, my love. Please, forgive me."

She stared at him, incredulous. Here was a strong warrior with a brilliant strategic mind and gentle soul, who loved his brother and simply adored her. All he wanted was a large family. With her. And because of her hangups and previous trauma, she denied him. And he stood before her and continued to support her, begging for her forgiveness.

"I love you," she whispered, tears springing to her eyes once more. Even lit only by the moon and stars above, River saw Vilkas smile tenderly. 

"And I love you." He leaned forward and gently pressed their lips together.

The night grew warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I love seeing your comments here, but if you have any other questions, or concerns drop me a line on my tumblr. My user name there is the same as my pen name.


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